


if I knew how to love you

by neytah



Category: Soul Surfer (Movie)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 20:30:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3302480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neytah/pseuds/neytah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you don't realize you're in love with your best friend until they're bleeding out in front of you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if I knew how to love you

**Author's Note:**

> Clarification: the was based entirely on the movie, not the irl movie. no disrespect intended.

Alana's always loved Bethany. More than a best friend, like a sister, a consistent and irreplaceable part of her life. She's closer to Bethany than anyone else: her mom, her dad, her brother. She can't imagine it any other way.

Alana loves everything about Bethany. She's resilient, a beacon of light, as well as a perfect mixture of sass and class. She's committed, she's faithful, she's incredibly talented, she's everything Alana could hope to be. Alana looks up to her more than Bethany knows. And that's just admiration, Alana knows, nothing more.

But then they're pulling Bethany from the bloodstained water. And then Alana's in the bed of her dad's truck, wind sharp against her wet body as she watch her best friend's life drift away before her eyes.

And when they're in the waiting room, she cries and cries and cries. She cries until she's empty of tears and she's gone lightheaded from sobs. She drifts asleep on her father's shoulder, and dreams of nothing. Her father wakes her hours later with the good news.

\---

It's new. It's strange. She's alive, but everything's changed.

Alana doesn't care about the arm. It's that Bethany's lost that spark, that smile that'd make Alana's stomach turn. And that's what she hates most of it all. She misses Bethany out on the waves. It's just not the same.

Sometimes you don't realize you're in love with your best friend until they're bleeding out in your arms.

And not even then.

It's after, she realizes slowly. It's been sneaking up on her all her life. It's when the feeling she gets in her stomach when Bethany's there follows her around, into the deep nights she lies awake with her thoughts. About how Bethany's smile lights a fire in her heart, how she can never help but to smile too. How whenever she's with Bethany, she can't think of any place she'd be happier. She can imagine life without her, now. But she doesn't want to. Not ever. 

And at some point, she comes to the conclusion that, as much as she may not like it, must be true. Alana Blanchard is in love with Bethany Hamilton.

And once she realizes this, it changes everything.

She notices everything now.

She notices how seeing Bethany sad upsets her whole day, or how something she'll make excuses to hold Bethany's hand. How Alana gets more worked up about Malina's jabs than Bethany does. She's begun to realize that this feeling she's felt with Bethany is what the stories talk of, of the prince in love with the princess. It's that spark. Alana feels it. She understands it now.

Bethany doesn't feel it, she knows.

So she can't help herself from riding that same wave as Malina, knocking her from her board, disqualifying herself in the process. But what stings the most is that Bethany hates her for it. 

She's angry. She doesn't want Alana to do things like that, she doesn't like people making shortcuts for her. Because, like it or not, everyone's treating her differently after the accident, including Alana. 

Bethany misses how things were. So does Alana.

Things blow over between them, enough, because they are best friends. But it's not the same. Alana's off doing photoshoots, and Bethany's going to Thailand. It's a strange hole in her life now, one she's resigned herself to get used to. Because Bethany'll never be the same.

But Bethany is full of surprises.

She comes back from Thailand with that smile that Alana loves, and more determination than ever. And Alana can only watch in awe as she gets back out on the waves, fighting. And Alana's far too happy to be competing at the nationals beside her best friend.

The nationals are, in the best words, groundbreaking. Bethany doesn't win, nor does Alana. But it's when she needed, what they all needed—victory in their hearts.

They celebrate, the two families together. It's a pure, vibrant happiness that they haven't had in a while. And Alana and Bethany have a sleepover, like old times, lying on Bethany's bed, staring at the stick-on, glow-in-the-dark stars. And they talk of trivial, insignificant things, like they haven't in a while. Bethany holds her hand between them, and Alana tries to ignore the butterflies.

Alana'd missed this.

The conversations lulls out into a comfortable quiet. They can hear the inhale and exhale of each other.

"I love you." Alana says into the silence. Bethany squeezes her hand.

"Love you too."

Alan turns her head to Bethany, but she pays no notice. Her eyes are still on the ceiling with that sparkle in her eyes. The moonlight lights her face like an angel, and Alana is in awe.

I love you.

If she only truly knew.


End file.
